Comforting Words from John Newton

The Christian calling, like many others, is easy and clear in theory, but not without much care and difficulty to be reduced to practice. Things appear quite otherwise, when felt experimentally, to what they do, when only read in a book. Many learn the art of navigation (as it is called), by the fire-side at home; but when they come to sea, with their heads full of rules, and without experience, they find that the art is only to be thoroughly learnt upon the spot. So, to renounce self, to live upon Jesus, to walk with God, to overcome the world, to hope against hope, to trust the Lord when we cannot trace him, and to know that our duty and privilege consist in these things, may be readily acknowledged or quickly learned; but, upon repeated trial, we find that saying and doing are two things. We think at setting out that we sit down and count the cost; but alas! our views are so superficial at first, that we have occasion to correct our estimate daily. For every day shows us some new thing in the heart, or some new turn in the management of the war against us which we were not aware of; and upon these accounts, discouragements may arise so high as to bring us (I speak for myself) to the very point of throwing down our arms, and making either a tame surrender or a shameful flight. Thus it would be with us at last, if the Lord of hosts were not on our side…. But if He is the Captain of our salvation, if his eye is upon us, his arm stretched out around us, and his ear open to our cry, and if He has engaged to teach our hands to war and our fingers to fight, and to cover our heads in the day of battle, then we need not fear, though a host rise up against us; but, lifting up our banner in his name, let us go forth conquering and to conquer; Rom. 16:20.


(from John Newton, in a letter to William Cowper, http://theoldguys.org/2011/11/16/john-newton-saying-vs-doing/)


Looking forward to the holiday break, to rest and renewal. Too often I try on my own strength to do things and fail, again and again. Thank God for his forgiveness and faithfulness, for not relinquishing his hold on me though I turn aside and look with undiscerning eyes to things that do not fulfill. Too often I quake in my heart for fear, like Much-Afraid in Hinds' Feet on High Places -- and fear of what? lack of control? not knowing what's coming next? abandonment? hurt, disappointment, pain? receiving more than I feel I deserve?
We need not fear.


Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.