Oh, the wisdom of Mother Theresa

"It is not how much we give but how much love we put into giving."

"If we have no peace it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."

"We have not come into the world to be numbered; we have been created for a purpose; for great things: to love and be loved."

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."

"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We only have today. Let us begin."

Indeed, let us begin.

Thoughts

I haven't blogged in quite some time, as sister G. mentioned earlier tonight. I had the opportunity to email chat online with her and with sister A. today, which was really nice as I haven't had the chance to talk deeply with either of them in a while. i am glad, though-- I got to talk with my mom for a long while on Saturday, and started emailing my dad.

Recently I've been thinking a lot about family -- What is it? How does it work? And conversely, what is a family not? How does a family become disconnected? All this thinking has been in the framework of analyzing my own family, I suppose, as it is the family I know the best -- not having had the opportunity to make a family of my own (and this is an opportunity I hope I will have someday, but probably won't happen soon). This led me to thinking about other things, like...

One theme has been repeated to me several times today and in the past week: love. I heard about love in the framework of the husband-and-wife relationship founded on mutual submission described in Ephesians 5 by Paul. In Sunday School class, we studied the latter half of Romans 13, and we examined the way Christians are to love with the understanding that the Day is coming-- when there is no turning back, no more second chances; when time is up. And lastly, I was reading online (once again) and came upon this quote by Martin Luther King Jr:

"Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice. Justice at its best is love correcting everything that stands against love."

(Side note: MLK is awesome. Isn't his writing amazing? What power, what truth, what brevity! I know that his day has gone by already, but we should recognize him tous les jours, not just on day a year. End side note.)

The word love appears in the Bible 686 times, according to biblegateway. And it is the key word in the two greatest commandments that Jesus gave to his disciples: to love God and to love others.

Now, the word love appears in my speech all the time -- "I love you!" to a sibling, or "much love" scribbled at the end of a letter, or "I love this [insert food, craft, music, or pretty object here]" or any number of other catchphrases. And I'm pretty sure that the definition of love as I use it in my speech changes all the time, though it is still the same four letters that I repeat over and over again. But when I use the word love, when I try in my simple and ofttimes foolish way to love, do I reflect the love that God has showered upon me?

I guess what I have issue with is trust. Deep inside me, I fear a lot of things. I fear rejection. I fear the knowledge that I am giving of myself and the recipient of this gift doesn't want it. I fear loneliness. I fear helplessness. I fear uncertainty. All these things I know in my head are fears planted by the evil one, who probably enjoys the fact that I may wallow in my fear forever. But I know that there is a lifeline out -- and that there is someone who never will abandon me, who has never stopped looking out for me. And to Him I trust my life, even when I fear that life is falling into chaos.

This is my prayer tonight. Lord, you are the one creator, mighty in deed and mighty in truth. Thank you for caring about me, even though my life is but a tiny thread in your wondrous tapestry. Help me in this in this dark age to seek after you fully. Help me to love you and to learn more about you. Teach me submission, meekness, and humility. As decisions are made for the future, whether by me or by others, please guide me to do what is right. Help me to use my words to build up others, to use my talents to serve, to want good things for others rather than for myself. Thank you for being one on whom I can depend fully. Thank you for loving me, and for putting people in my life who demonstrate your love for me also.