Henri Nouwen

“May his light shine in our darkness and may I be ready to receive it with joy and thanksgiving.”

Prayer

"God and Father of all,
in your love
you made all the nations of the world
to be a family,
and your Son taught us to love one another.
Yet our world is riven apart
with prejudice, arrogance, and pride.
Help the different races
to love and understand one another better.
Increase among us sympathy,
tolerance, and goodwill,
that we may learn to appreciate the gifts
that other races bring to us,
and to see in all people
our brothers and sisters for whom Christ died.
Save us from jealousy, hatred, and fear,
and help us to live together
as members of one family at home in the world,
sons and daughters of one Father
who live in the liberty of the children of God;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen."

~ Book of Common Order of the Church of Scotland
(Edinburgh: St. Andrew Press, 1994) ~

Quote

“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood, and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.”

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

... Looking forward to reading physical books again!<3 div="" hoo="" list="" many="" on="" reading="" the="" things="" whoo="">

Words that I've been hearing in various places over the past few weeks: waiting expectantly. For whom (or for what) do we wait? In what are we putting our hope and trust? 

Praying today that the answer to those questions is the Lord, who is sovereign over all and IS working. May we be driven to him, asking how we can work to bring his kingdom forth.

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/election-is-over-lets-get-political

from _The Great Divorce_ (CS Lewis)

'But what of the poor Ghosts who never get into the omnibus at all?'
'Everyone who wishes it does. Never fear. There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, in the end, "Thy will be done."All that are in Hell, choose it. Without that self-choice there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. To those who knock it is opened.'
(p. 72)

Part of quote has also been rendered in a variant form, and quoted as:

There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way."

-----------

In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait expectantly.

Ps 5:3

Driven by duty

This is me, so often: http://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/is-it-love-if-i-don-t-feel-it [thanks pastor john]

Doing for the sake of doing, forgetting (neglecting) the heart. Lord, I need your spirit working inside me to transform and consecrate - as in that age-old song: take my heart and let it be...

Questions

[[ many questions right now, and much learning about what God would have of me ]]

Some thought exercises courtesy of a sister-in-Christ (JML):

1. Who belongs? Who determines these designations?
2. What are the taxes and levies we impose on others -- particularly the marginalized, newcomers and 'outsiders' -- to access their belonging in the spaces we control?
3. How do we, who seek to be transformed by Jesus' Good News and incarnational example, practice hospitality in the vein of 'come as you are' vs. 'come as we asked or demand that you come'?

Resting on Ps 103. Grateful for a good, good Father.

Trust

Hi friends.

This has been a hard week, maybe even month, with many ups and downs. A lot of communication and much much miscommunication as well. Joy, celebration, strife, anger, and sadness all mixed together, and undergirding it all a relentless tension and tiredness that siphons away the peace that I desire to hold onto so dearly.

An apt reading from Oswald Chambers this morning: link here. Some selected quotes:

What is my vision of God’s purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me.

God’s purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious.

Praying praying praying for God to make himself known to be more fully; for me to have a heart open to his spirit working in and transforming me. Day by day. Holding fast to what is important: what is good and acceptable and perfect. Adjusting attitudes. Knowing when and how to speak, and when to be silent. How to love and honor and live peaceably. Rom 12.

Heart, have courage and fear not -- because the Lord is with you wherever you go.

quote

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take; the clouds ye so much dread are big with mercy and shall break in blessings on your head.

God is his own interpreter and He will make it plain.

-William Cowper

(quote via EW via my fb newsfeed -- but i like a lot so storing here)

Tattoos on the heart

Wow I love love love this man.
http://www.onbeing.org/program/father-greg-boyle-on-the-calling-of-delight/transcript/5059

Friday. Dreary out - grey and wet and meh. Had a day of head-in-the-clouds and forgetfulness yesterday. But glad for company and support and sharing and late-night talking and much love. And a renewed excitement for post-school life: content in what-comes-next (TBD) and eager to practice living in the Now/Here and focusing on the This.

WOAH fresh reading

okay. so i've never read this bit of the sermon on the mount in this way before. mind kinda blown? much processing. keywords: assertive nonviolence, dignity, freedom

http://www.cpt.org/files/BN%20-%20Jesus'%20Third%20Way.pdf
(link courtesy of fb via jin min)

i want to read the rest of this book... [too many books on my to-read list o.o]

quickie update

Today, in Bible reading for the day:

Micah 6:8 -- one of my faves, and a prayer for today and everyday
He has hold you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

Much planning going on right now as I think and pray about post-grad (and *ahem* make sure I finish up the things I need before I can graduate aka thesis writing ahhh!)... Praying that in the middle of this planning, strategizing, networking that I hold onto Him first and foremost. Clarity about direction much needed (jobs, relationships, general calling). And much gratefulness to my research professor who's offered to keep me on (in work and in pay) for awhile after graduation as I look for a permanent (well, semi-permanent) job.

Also, I really like Shane and Shane's Psalm albums. and Rivers and Robots, e.g.

random

- tired brain (finals/grading not done yet o.o and starting up again on mondayyyyy)
- three dragonfruit for $1 (!!!) whaaaaa and like 5lbs of nectarines for $2. i love clearance produce
- tortilleria sinoloa (wow mexican so yum but so expensive in baltimore; miss texas)
- emotional labor (metafilter so thoughtprovoking)
- ms4 friends matching TODAY! much prayer and praise
- famireeee
- the Word
- why Daniel so confusing? ptl for commentaries. takeaway: "go your way, for the words are shut up and sealed until the time of the end"
- also, "and those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky above, and those who turn many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever."
- thankful for light in the mornings. and new mercies. and accountability.

Quote

while the rationalist wishes to cram the heavens into his head, the romantic seeks only to get his head into the heavens -- Chesterton
(via  http://mereorthodoxy.com/)

let me see your goodness and greatness -- your mercies new every morning

Break

A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. Prov 15:4

Broken home. The "happy holidays" were just a veneer, desperately covering up cracking ice. So good at playing pretend, putting up a front. So tired of seemingly having everything put together. Why do some people think that "saving face" is necessary in front of brothers and sisters? Hospitality should be a joy, not a burden, not pressure. So much frustration and anger and bitterness and self-centeredness and self-protection, like a vortex inextricably sucking people in.

God, we really need you to break through the spirit of evil and distrust that has fallen on and to help us all the way Paul prayed for his dearly beloved church in Ephesus: that he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith - that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Teach us to hold the things of this world lightly, and to look toward the things yet unseen...